Time to Reflect..

Do you remember a time when your life was calm and you didn't have to worry about any kind of adult worries? Honestly I have a hard time remembering what life was like a year ago let alone 10+ years ago 😂 One thing that I don't ever think that I will forget is what life was like with one kid, even though that one kid was a HANDFUL he is still the best thing that has ever happened to me! Well, now that handful of a child is in the care of a teacher... that's right! We started Kindergarten!!!! I don't think I have ever seen Ry so happy and tired as I do each day after school! With Ry in school that has given me some more one on one time with B which has been phenomenal! Poor baby, I feel like he has been so neglected lately with us just focusing on full day school and full time work for Zach and I (man, I get tired just typing about it😂😂😂). My work has been so accommodating and has been able to help me so that I can get out of work to pick up Ry from school Wednesday- Friday which has been amazing!!

Another great reason for reflecting today is because my little baby is going to be 1 in 12 days! I feel like I was just going on Maternity leave and "graduating" from Training at eBay and getting put on my team (I mean this was just last year and then some... but it feels SOO long ago!!)!!😮 It is complete insanity how fast this time has gone by, I still am in complete shock! My little B has 4 teeth, likes to dance to the ABC's and the Wheels on the Bus and can do all the actions to the Itsy Bitsy Spider! Today he ate a whole pancake and had his first sippy cup of Apple Juice! B LOVES everything about big bro and will 95% of the time has a giant smile on his face! B also has just started walking and almost refuses to crawl while we are at home, which this whole part of parenting is all new to us and we are still trying to figure out how to baby proof everything..... and I mean EVERYTHING!! I can't believe how fast this year has gone by!

Don't take the little things for granted! In a blink of an eye they disappear and your babies grow into little people!!!

xo
Zach, Kodey, Ryker and Brycen

Things I Wish I Was Told....

I know that I haven't posted for quite some time but recently in a group that I am apart of on Facebook, there are a bunch of new Moms/ first time Special Needs Moms and I am so happy that I get to be apart of this community!! Some of the questions that we get over and over again are "What do I expect?" "What did you do with.. x, y, and z" Well, I'm here to say that not every pregnancy/ birth is not the same and it's hard to sometimes answer these questions... When I had Ryker I was fresh into my Twenties, newly married and it was my first time being pregnant! When we found out about Ryker's disability I, in all honesty, was devastated. I kept on telling myself that it was all my fault that our baby was disabled--and believe me those nurses at my ultrasounds from then on out were not helpful either (but that's for a different story)!! I keep looking back on that time and I can't help but think about how naive I was and how I didn't even think of what questions to even ask the Doctors (I got super lucky and have a husband who thinks of the questions I can't or don't want to ;) ) but not everyone is like my husband... so I wanted to create a post about What I Wish I was told/ What I Wish I Knew, so here goes nothing.

• Depending on the circumstances with your baby's condition/ your condition during the birth, always push for time with your child right after he/she is born. I feel like for me that I would have a better relationship with Ryker if I had pushed for that more, for the skin to skin contact that a baby needs with momma! You just spent 8+ months cooking him/her.... get a chance to see what masterpiece you've created!!!

• If you are wanting to nurse, make it known to the nurses!! If you had a similar situation to mine, where Ryker was in and out of the OR for surgeries for the first 2 weeks we were at Primary's, let the Nurses know that you want to pump and feed or you just want to bottle feed your baby... key word in this one is YOU!! Take as much time as you can holding and loving your little one (they grow up WAY too fast!!

• If you have the chance, talk to your OB-GYN/ Neurosurgeons/ Anesthesiologist WHOEVER you are going to have with you when you are having your baby and right after your baby is born.. they are here to help YOU and make you feel good about this whole experience... It's their JOB!! If you aren't happy with the way that they treat you, talk to you, the way they come into the room to talk to you about your kid at 6 am when you've only gotten 2 hours of sleep bring it up and do NOT be afraid to stand your ground.. What does a workplace do to you if you don't improve after you've been talked to?? They fire you!! Don't be afraid to "fire" Dr's and Nurses off your care or your child's care!!!

• YOU ARE YOUR CHILD'S ADVOCATE!!!! You are their voice!! If you think for one second that just because you are a first time Mom/Dad that the nurses know best.... You are WRONG!! Momma, YOU have been growing this thing, this tiny human for 8+ months [EIGHT OR MORE MONTHS], you better BELIEVE that you know what you are doing from their first breath!! You know how YOU want things done and how you want your baby to be handled.               (also a side note here: if you ever feel like there is something wrong with your baby please, please, please for the love, PLEASE DO. NOT feel like you are ever and I mean EVER a inconvenience to the medical staff.. There is always a Charge Nurse on staff if no one is listening to you... There's a Social Worker ON SITE to help facilitate what ever you need!!)

• Ask questions!! Doctors and Nurses forget that we don't speak medical, don't ever feel like you are dumb because you aren't!! There is no way in this world that you could be "dumb" for wanting to know what they are going to do to your child while he/she is in surgery or whatever the situation may be.. Remind them that they need to speak in layman's terms.

• I think that the last thing that you should always be told/ remember is that you are not alone!! I remember feeling so alone through Ryker's diagnosis and through his birth all the way up until he was two... 2!! I remember the sleepless nights at the hospital, the countless tears that were shed because no one understood where I was at and for the most part I was putting on a show for everyone that I was okay. I knew that there were people, like my family, who sympathized with me but there was no way that they knew what I was going through with a physically disabled child (to be clear, my family is my rock! They were there when I thought there was no one else! Also these were and maybe still are, my feelings from that time. It was dark and lonely and honestly I'm glad that I was able to survive those years!) If you need a support group reach out to the Doctor and Nurses, especially the Nurses.. they are the eyes and ears of the hospital.. they know a lot ;) look on Facebook and do some research there! Heck, you can even reach out to me and I will help you try to find something! You. Are. NOT. Alone. period, end of story. Never, ever, ever will you be alone. I will always be here for you. No matter what. You can reach out to me personally if you would like to talk. I will always listen! 

  

This list could go on and on for the longest time but just remember these little things; Push for what you want to have happen in your birth, Ask Questions, You are in charge, and You are NEVER alone!

If any of you have things to add to this list please let me know and we can add them! :)

<3